I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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