you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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