This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
