I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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