i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
