I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
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she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
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Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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