on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
