have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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