well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
