I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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