im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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