thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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