i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
