Can i not drive my cunt home
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize