theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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