I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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