Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
