Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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