I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
