Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
