i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
