My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
