Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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