Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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