I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The power of my boobs compel you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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