He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
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i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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