So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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