There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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