Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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