so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
