doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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