Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
