Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
