This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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