so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize