i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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