We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
