The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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