I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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