how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
