Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
