Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my shit smells like andre
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
