just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
