no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
