This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
