Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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