Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
