Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
