the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.