I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....