Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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