I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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