You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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