I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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