Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
