didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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