Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
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I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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