A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
